The Ladies Guide to Showering in 'The Bush'

1. Be prepared. After many hours of research buy a 'bush shower'. This consists of a clear plastic bag with black backing, from which is attached a tube with a (very) small shower nozzle, which can be opened and closed (are you still following?...)
2. Fill bag with natural source of water - NOT drinking water, people, this shower water will be mud red in colour.
3. Leave to heat on car in sun.
4. Hang on tree. Don't let your husband try and hang it up, because he won't realise there is a pole with which to hang it up, and will consequently rip the handle off trying to hang it up without the pole.
5. Make sure someone else tries the shower first, (there is cold water in the tube that needs to be used first - this is much colder - hear'em squeal).
6. Give lots of advice to other person on how to have the shower - they will really appreciate this, and monitor how much water they use.
7. Having assessed safety of shower, ie., that it is warm, and will stay hanging from the tree and not land on you, then disrobe.
8. DON'T believe husband that no one is around and that getting naked is OK, other campers / friends WILL turn up while you are mid wash.
9. When showering - be quick, it will not be as warm as you have been told it is.
10. While washing, try not to dwell on the irony of the mud brown water mixing with the $28 hair conditioner, or the 80 flies buzzing around trying to help you. Remember this is not a Mosman salon, ladies.
11. Don't mind that when you dry there will be a new, cleaner pink dust over you from the water.